she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
