Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
