Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
