Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
