OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
