Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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