Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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