We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
