I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
