This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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