I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just pee around me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
