The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
