sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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