I wanna bring you to show and tell
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
