If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Randomize
