dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
