I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
