U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
