i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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