maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
