Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize