Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
