we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
