i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
