$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
