We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
