Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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