I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
