if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
