he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
