White coat. Heels.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
