My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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