After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
