i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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