dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
