Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We don't watch enough power rangers
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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