Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
