Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
