If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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