what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
