I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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