so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
