At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
