So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
