i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
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