i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
