I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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