So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
