I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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