That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
